Don Quixote 2

Don 3

Sitting in sunshine outside the Brasserie, Johnny finally recounted the events of last night.  ‘I’d had three vodkas – no more than that – I’m doing really well! Anyway, I’m going in for my fourth.  The sun was glaring and I wouldn’t move out of its path – I could feel it infiltrating my soul – I fucking needed it.   So, I go inside.  Well as soon as you get through the door, it’s an intense black because of the sun and you can’t see anything, except vaguely – you know your way to the bar, sort of thing.

David’s playing the piano and in the seat opposite was a woman.  When David’s wife comes, she always sits in that seat.  So I went up with my glass in my hand, boomed, ‘Hello Darling!’ and went in with the lips.  I got about this far (hand-span) from this woman and suddenly realised that it wasn't her!  It was a complete fucking stranger and there was a companion, a younger woman sitting opposite. Anyway, I kind of backed off and I said, ‘I do apologise, it’s a case of mistaken identity – I thought you were David’s wife and she said, ‘he should be so lucky!' So I kissed her on the cheek anyway, said it was nice to meet her, you see and made my departure.

Anyway today, Mike (perfect bartender and host) came across and told me that the women were transvestites - I thought she had a very low voice for a woman.  And not only that, eventually when I realised – I mean it could have gone really badly couldn't it? But I didn't get that sort of response from this woman.

The thing is, that is eccentric behaviour – it’s like Don Quixote’s windmill – he thought there was a giant there, but it was a windmill - like an illusion and this is the same thing – I thought it was David’s wife, but I couldn’t see her and this woman had the same kind of long hair.  I wondered why the companion was looking at me in a very strange way.

Anyway, I've learnt my lesson!  I could make that kind of communication with completely the wrong kind of person.’

‘You could get thumped,’ I said.

‘So I'm going to change my behaviour and stand in the doorway until my eyes adjust.’

‘But that could be another kind of eccentric behaviour,' said I, 'people may wonder why this man comes in through the door and stands still.’

‘You know,' Johnny continued, 'when straight people come into the Studio, they blink and can’t see anything.  Then they fidget, don’t know where to look, think let’s get out of here and run out, saying they've forgotten to do the shopping!’