Johnny Scissor-hands

In Johnny's hands a paintbrush can do imaginative, creative things and given my own limited ability with paint and brush, I am full of admiration.  I, on the other hand, am quite good with scissors and material and over the years have helped Johnny out with bits of mending and repairs.

The repairs have been necessitated on occasion by Johnny's surgical and impatient approach to clothing alterations. I think he would make the kind of hairdresser that scalps rather than trims.  His last attempt at shortening a rather nice pair of cargo trousers reduced them to half-mast. 'You see,' said Johnny, displaying the truncated khaki legs, 'they were too long, so I cut the bottom off.  Then they were still too long, so I cut some more off - but I was bending down when I did it, so now they're too short and they still need a hem.' Hemming was to be achieved using double sided tape.  So, I took the trousers home, re-attached the severed bottoms, producing a slightly odd turn-up effect but ankle modesty was retained.

I was less than chuffed to arrive at the Studio last week to discover that scissor-hands has been at it again, this time on a Thai silk throw that yours truly had donated as a new bedspread.  'I need you to do some sewing Gill,' J informed me.  'You see, I've cut slits in it so that it will wrap around the bed posts and tuck in.  I thought that gluing them with Copydex would stop them fraying, but I don't think its going to be strong enough.'

I don't either, so the cover is back with me, quietly unravelling in its bag, whilst awaiting stitching.  'All you need to do,' said Johnny, 'is run some glue down the raw edge and then sew it with that zigzag thing.'  Next time Johnny hits a brick wall with a painting, I'm going to suggest the same remedy.  I have decided that I am not going to listen to Johnny's advice on sewing matters any more.